Raspberry is a Nice Word

Everyone else has been blogging, so I figured that it was about time I do the same.

I have been spending less time online lately and for this I apologize to you all. I have been doing a bit of work though, which is good. I just now like 5 minutes ago finished the superhero comic style Bookman for Trev. I am thinking that he'll use it in the Absolutely Not About Reading thing that he's doing, and perhaps for future promotional posters and stuff like that. It should be grand. It turned out okay despite the fact that I use Paintshop Pro... and poorly at that because I'd never really used it before.

Also, that tankhat comic... Yeah. I need to figure out what to draw that doesn't include everyone I know. Perhaps I'll go for a different style completely. Who knows. I don't have any ideas for it at the moment.

Actually, I am working on a comic for this site. It's mostly about unicorns. I meant to work on it all week long but didn't start on it until today. I remembered now that I have social engagements to attend on Saturday. And I have learned that Jeremy intends to update on Saturday. So I'm pretty much doomed.

Lord, halloween social engagements. They are just the worst. I am like the only person around who doesn't particularly care for this holiday, as I am not a big fan of overeating on candy, OR dressing up in costumes. Lately, I have been trying to make up for all the years between being 8 years old and 26 years old when I refused to dress up at all. But I'm still not always enthused over it. Nevertheless, I spent my randomly earned cash on face paints, fake blood, scars, and rotting skin in hopes that I'll be able to figure out something for this costume party on Saturday. I can't decide between Zombie Clown or Undead Amanda Wood or something along those lines...

Hard times.

So, yeah, Jeremy and Andrea, and god willing, a kid from the Forum called WolvenGrace should be visiting next weekend. I hope they enjoy themselves, and have suggestions on what they want to do. Hosting internet people I've never met before is occasionally funny.

Oh, yes. And I hope that they bring lots of warm clothing, as I do not keep this house warm at all. In fact, I am wearing a coat and hat as I am typing this. It's just cozy to save money on heating, you know?

Madness on Internet

This is going to be a brief entry, as it is being used mostly to make a point.

It's strange how from time to time you find yourself on some unlikely place in the Internet Place and you find someone you think is your friend, but then you find that it is an IMPOSTER!



Yes, I've found OMGJeremy on Habbo Hotel, but it was NOT OMGJeremy. Imagine my surprise. Actually I asked the real Jeremy before I went in there, just to make sure, and he feels frightened and scandalized that he is involved in such a sinister moment.

And this blog entry is to prove to this imposter that I am not an imposter of Amanda Wood.

I guess that imposters' worlds are saturated in doubt and suspicion, and rightly so.

This is a Blog Entry without Almonds

Yes. Without almonds. Because I am a girl without almonds. There are no almonds in me, there aren't any near me, the cereal box sitting next to me does not even contain one single almond. Even though it has the word "ALMONDS" in all capital letters on it. The catch is that it was preceded by the word "without," which was NOT in capitalized letters.

This is a shame, and it has led me into writing my very first letter of complaint as a consumer. I don't know that even Old Man Mark has gone this far in his Old Person Bitterness. We are all of us doomed.

In the spaces that follow, know that I am actually filling out their "customer comment" form. I was searching for the Complaint Department. And then I started searching for the THIS IS NOT not THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT. And then searched for Compliment Department. But "customer comments" is the only thing even remotely related to what I am about to do. Hold on.


Product Name: HONEY CRISP MEDLEY CEREAL (without) ALMONDS

To: the Kroger Company
From: amanda@omgjeremy.com


To Whom It May Concern:

So, I bought this cereal called HONEY CRISP MEDLEY CEREAL Without ALMONDS Toasted Multi-Grain Flakes with Honey Oat Clusters the other day. The following morning, I proceeded to dine on this cereal, and found that it was sort of lacking in the Almonds Department. It was then that I realized that you have packaged your product in a somewhat misleading way.

Now, I know that it isn't entirely your fault that I did not read OR comprehend the word "without" on the product. However, I feel that I am not entirely to blame. When you are at a crowded grocery store, being overwhelmed by the nineteen billion different cereals on the shelves, you are operating under the notion that you kind of want to get out of there as soon as possible. You read what the cereals have to offer, you grab, and you run. At least that's what you do if you are like me.

Being manufacturers of several Kroger Brand products, I am certain that your company has tested the consumer market. So I am not about to start shouting wild speculations... Well, except for this one wild speculation that just won't keep quiet: Don't you think it makes a whole lot more sense to list what is IN the product, rather than just ONE thing that happens to NOT be in the product?

What are you trying to do? Trick us good almond-loving folk??

I noticed that the packaging does not say HONEY CRISP MEDLEY CEREAL Without ALMONDS & RAISINS Toasted Multi-Grain Flakes with Honey Oat Clusters, and yet along with the lack of ALMONDS, I have not seen one raisin in this box of cereal. Or perhaps there are tiny granules of raisin AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT ALMONDS.

Please, start making HONEY CRISP MEDLEY CEREAL Without ANTIFREEZE Toasted Multi-Grain Flakes with Honey Oat Clusters but NO Asbestos, Whatsoever.

Wait, you really don't need to do that, because usually when something ISN'T listed on a box of cereal, that usually means that it ISN'T in there. OR HAVE I BEEN MISTAKEN ALL THESE YEARS!? Well, no, I think I would have noticed by now if my cereals had contained bolts, mittens, puppies, astronaut helmets, or barn red acrylic paint. But I never saw my cereal boxes mention that it did not contain any of those items.

Now, I am sorry if I am coming off as some crazed dame who is freaking out a bit too much about the lack of almonds in a cereal that clearly announces that it is WITHOUT them, but damn it. I really wanted almonds. If you hadn't had the word on there, I probably wouldn't have picked it up. Or, if I had, later, I would have been all "Woops! I must have picked up the wrong one." But because you actually wrote "without almonds" on it, in a VERY suspicious way, I might add... All capital letters except for "without"? That's just madness! But because of that, I have been driven to write my very first rant as a consumer.

Thanks, Kroger. You've turned me into a 72 year old woman over breakfast!

Now, I am going to eat this box of cereal. Because I am starved, there aren't many choices around this house, and because I don't believe in wasting food. HOWEVER! The next time I buy a Kroger brand anything, I will be certain to look it over for any catches like this no almonds thing. I will view you with suspicion, Kroger! Until you win me back! Until my bitterness over the almonds is at an end! And I don't know when that will be.

Sincerely,

Amanda Wood, consumer.


That was therapeutic.

When and if they respond, I will tell you about it. Also, if they revoke my Kroger Card.. well then that will bring about the Great Amanda vs. Kroger Wars. And it will not be pretty.

RIP Mr X

As I mentioned a few entries ago, I had joined forces with a certain dark red Betta who tured out to be named Mr. X. He was a mysterious fish who kept to himself, mostly. We had an easygoing friendship where he would stare at me, and I would occasionally feed him tiny food.

Well, apparently Mr X had another, secret life. A DANGEROUS life.

Putting together pieces of the puzzle now, I can only assume that he was involved in international spyisms, or maybe he was a super hero who fought Evil with reckless abandon, or maybe he was a villain, a henchman of some organized crime ring who turned into a dirty double crosser and as a result had to go into hiding here in my house courtesy of a Witness Protection Program.

I do not know.

What I DO know is that his lifestyle caught up with him.


A few days ago, I awoke to find Mr X with a missing decorative fin, and his little top fin was hanging by a thread. A thread that was made of Mr X himself!!

I can't say how this happened. I have no idea. I can only imagine some silent violence happened in the night... A break-in perhaps...

As can be expected, he was in some amount of pain and stopped eating regularly. He also had strange white patches appear on his sides, as if his skin was falling off. I expect it was an after-effect of some sinister torture or another.

I tried to do what I could for my fish friend. My friend who I did not know long enough.

But he quietly passed away earlier this evening.


There is currently a Wake going on in our household. There are flowers and a lit candle around his bowl. The funeral itself will happen later tonight in good time.


So long, Mr X. You were a good fish who deserved better than this final injustice.






.... KHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!