OMFG I Am On the Internet for Today!

I come back from the land of little to no internet. But just for today. Please, do not weep any more. Someday soon I will have internet all the time. And that will be good!

So, as some of you might know, XV Bones stopped by this lovely region of Ohio in order to meet me, and Jeremy once he was peer pressured into showing up, too. We went to the Cincinnati Zoo and got massively lost which was not ENTIRELY my fault. I'll go into further detail in a second, although Jeremy was the one who was the most traumatically scarred by the incident, so he could probably tell it better. I was simply a bit aggravated. But then, after a little over 24 hours, XV was on his way to Arizona again because he couldn't stand delaying any longer.

So what is XV like in person? I will tell you. Well, I'll try. He's pretty much exactly like he is in his articles, only he is REALLY INSANELY POLITE. I wasn't really expecting that. For example, when we were at the Zoo, in the area for the children to pet farm animals, and there were literally three thousand children aged 0 to 4 running around like horrible nasty fleshy roaches that carry sugar germs, and I was on the edge of freaking out and just starting kicking everything that was knee height, a small child or its grandmother dropped a water bottle directly in our path. XV immediately stooped to pick it up and returned it to the lady with a smile and a pleasant "you are welcome, have a perfectly lovely day, you wonderful human beings." I think that I, on the other hand, would have just kicked it out of my way and continued walking, or I would have just coldly stepped over it and given both the old woman and infant a look of contempt for even being there in my sight and inconveniencing me by making me adjust my step. I'm not usually so mean, but all of those screaming, shrieking children were really making me really really tense and angry.

So yes. Paragraph break. XV is polite and thinner than he looks in photos. Granted, most photos I had seen of him had him dressed in large bulky costumes so that he looked like a banana or a tissue box, but I was still somewhat surprised that he is very thin indeed.

Besides that, XV is exactly how anyone would expect.

We went to the Zoo. It was the first OMGJ Field Trip, and coincidentally, the first time more than two writers of this site have assembled in Public. The Zoo was great and fun and exhausting as it always is. XV nearly wet himself when he saw the Bullet Ant Display and Jeremy seemed to continually say, in quiet, monotone ways, things like "Oh shit." And "Oh my god." And "Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up" when he saw strange and exotic animals.

The most enjoyable part was getting to the Zoo and trying to get home afterward. You see, I think even if I grew up IN Cincinnati, I still would be mostly lost when I drove through it. But I DIDN'T grow up in Cincinnati, and I also don't drive. But I didn't let that phase me, or Jeremy or XV, and I set off with an optimistic spring in my step and a really really poor map of Cincinnati that was supplied by a very large map of the entire state of Ohio. This of course means that the map showed all of the Interstate Highways, and about 5 actual streets. But the Zoo was marked by a red dot near a few streets I figured that we'd find somehow. And we DID find it, after we went through Mt. Adams, which is an extremely hilly, extremely narrow part of Cincinnati that I can never, EVER find when I am trying to get there. And where Jeremy nearly fell apart, because as we all know, he prefers straight, flat roads. And this is the complete opposite of that. Anyway, we eventually found signs that pointed us to the Zoo and we were glad.

When we left, however, I realized that we couldn't follow signs that pointed to my house. This is when the real fun began.

It was around rush hour, of course, so there were a thousand crazy motorists surrounding us at all times. We finally found Vine Street, which shows up on the map a little, and I said "Take this, for it heads to the downtown area." And it did eventually. After Jeremy sat nervously in one of the local ghetto areas, for which Cincinnati is famous. Our chili and our ghettos are things of legend. Both yummy and splendid in their own ways.

Unfortunately, Cincinnati is under construction lately, which I was not aware of, so as we made our way to the street I knew to take which would take us to an area I know very well, I was delighted to find that it was blocked by a huge ROAD CLOSED sign. I was SUPER-delighted to find, also, that that was apparently the LAST turn you can make in Cincinnati. Because after we were forced to go straight instead of turning left, we managed to go straight for about sixteen miles and we finally veered off onto a road I'd never heard of because we were now on the West Side of town, which I have been in like twice, and was always completely completely lost, but with a person who was from there, so they weren't lost, so I failed to bother to pay attention.

None of the street names were familiar. We blazed through this random stop sign. Jeremy thought we were running from the ghetto, but actually we were just running to another one. So eventually we were able to turn around, go back the 50 miles we came, and somehow, we made it to a highway out of there. I can't even remember what we did. Little did they know that I was deeply concerned for us all, because Cincinnati is a frightening place to be lost in, simply because it is a complicated little asphalt knot, and I was visualizing being lost in it for 14 days at the very least. But I was able to somehow give off the impression that I was confident and knew exactly how to get home. The fools!

However, we DID get home. And we had a dinner my mom made for us which was delicious. Then we were really tired and went to bed. Well, I managed to stay awake until nearly 5am. Then they got up at 8:30 am and left. And I went back to sleep. To dream, strangely enough, of rescuing kittens.

Awww.

I Have a Positive Opinion of Atom

As promised, ladies and gentlemen, I am keeping you updated as to whether or not Atom (of Atom and His Package fame) can be a considered a nice guy who responds to friendly emails.

I am happy to tell you that yes, in fact, he is a nice guy, and can now be considered as my Friend, or at least, a Friend of OMGJ. Although he did say that he would be pleased to be our friend as long as we weren't some hate site filled with racist, sexist, homophobic mean stuff... And I don't THINK we are, right? I know that a lot of people have threatened us and called us hate mongering hater types, but we never understood why. Or we just understood the situation to mean that those people take life way too seriously.

We may sound overwhelmingly cynical and jaded, and we may write things that sound horrible and might actually nearly almost step over the boundaries of Good Taste, but I know that we are honestly very nice, open-minded people who just take that stance in articles because when we read it back to ourselves, it makes us laugh and laugh and laugh. I don't know.. Hopefully Atom won't think we are monsters.

Hopefully the Good Impression I seemed to make on him will balance out any negativity found in the archives, if there is any.


My favorite part about working on this site is how it's given me a very skewed outlook on everything. So things that will offend 95% of all human beings on earth, I won't see the problem with it. So then, I start to worry that the things I don't think are offensive actually ARE offensive. So it's an odd kind of concern and paranoia, probably completely baseless.


But anyway, he did write back. He did apologize for his late response. He did say that if OMGJ is as entertaining as my email to him, he would be "honored" to be considered our friend. And he did say that he'd actually look at the site at some point.

So, if he happens to look here at my blog entry here... Er, hey Atom. How are you doing?

But who am I kidding? Who really looks at blogs anyway, right?

Hooray!

Can This Really Be Happening? or, It Turns Out That My Friend Brad Is Some Sort of Wizard of Knowing Stuff

So for the past two weeks or so, my Internet Browsers were made of total ass and refused to work in any way that was actually helpful. I asked several brainy friends about what was going on. Friends whose brains are full of computer knowledge. Everyone was stumped.

I despaired.

I was actually about to have Jeremy visit again with his XP reinstallation stuffs.

THINGS WERE THAT BAD.


And then, seemingly at random, I asked one last friend, and he was all "download this" and instructed me on what to do. And it had something to do with.. MTU something or other (lol computers and me hur hur). And I had to restart my computer and it's like everything is totally okay now. It even seem FASTER than ever before.

Jesus Christ. I swear it was fixed in like seven minutes.


So basically right now my world is topsy turvy and I am wondering if I just inadvertantly made some deal with the Devil. I am really extraordinarily happy though. Euphoria. Like some weight of retarded computer problems just got kicked off of my shoulders.

Dear sweet god, I can browse the Internet again! Internetting will be as easy as it ever should be!

I feel so dazed, and am honestly slightly suspicious and worried that I am dreaming.


So, hey. What do you give to a friend who effortlessly fixed your computer problems as a Thank You Gift? I was never great with this kind of ettiquette and shit. Thank You Cards seem trite. But I have a boyfriend and an aversion to infants, otherwise I'd give him a Thank You Baby. Because I am THAT grateful.

I can't even think of anything else to say right now. I am kind of at a loss of what to do when I am in such high spirits.

Lordy, lordy, lordy.

Good Heavens

I am very wary at the moment.

You see, for the past three or four days (I have lost count), my Internet has been behaving... strangely.

Those of you who keep track of my life will recall that my computer is a fickle, diseased machine that seems to exist only to frustrate my own life. It has done everything short of literally explode into a burst of flames, or at least I thought it had. For the other day, it started to be very odd.

For the past few weeks before this, it had been unusually happy and healthy. It was actually the healthiest I'd ever seen it. Then the other day, I was at the Forum poking around when the browser slowly just stopped working. At first I figured it was connection troubles and went to bed early. But the next day provided me with more of the same. The computer downstairs is having no trouble at all, so I am guessing that it has to be just my problem.

So, both Firefox and IE have been out of commission. I have to click links about 400 times before it will randomly connect and send me on my way. However, AOL Instant Messenger works like a dream. This concerns me because AIM usually takes every chance it can to act like a shitty little bitch. And yet, it isn't.

However, and this is why I am wary, today, I have been able to go to THREE different webpages (literally, pages. not just perusing whole sites) without it informing me that there is nothing for me to go to, or that it just doesn't want to try. It's acting like Old Times. SO FAR!

That's why I decided to quickly blog, because I didn't know when I'd next get the chance.



In other news, I have heard that the MidOhio Comic Con says that we, OMGJeremy.com, can have a booth at their convention. This is laughable because we don't really know what we'd have at a booth, but it is there to take. However, they also mentioned that it costs $240 to get this booth. $240!! That is so much money. So I don't know if we will manage that. We'll be there anyway, just, we might not have the booth to horrify people with.

I have been pretty productive lately, since I can't waste my life at the Forum. I've been working on a large 4x8' painting I was commissioned to do. Hard times. I wrote an article in time for the Sunday Update, but I guess the high temperatures courtesy of the Heat Wave from HELL has been killing Jeremy more than usual. So he wasn't in a functional mood. Hopefully sometime during the week, he will have his strength back.

I am glad to see that Mark and Jeremy P have been keeping their blogs in nice order. Jeremy needs donations very very much. Trev has been gone for a long time and will continue to be gone until September or something silly like that. And not just "too busy for us with small projects" but he's actually traveling around and being out of his country and stuff.

XV's blog is just shameful. A black mark on our site. He has no excuse that could possibly be forgivable. Mark will back me up on this.

Oh, XV... Why?


PS - As I tried to post this, my lovely browser says that there is nothing to do, and it will not try. So I guess I have to go back to pressing "Publish Post" 400 times, along with anything else I try to do. I blame XV for this! I will blame him for everything bad that ever happens again anymore!!