It's Saturday Again

I am usually surprised when I realize that I am presently in a part of the "week end." When I was a child, weekends were my favorite time of the week. There was not school and all of that junk. It was a time to celebrate with cartoons and playing outside no matter what the weather was doing. Except raining, I guess. My mom was of the opinion that playing in rain causes colds and possibly even pneumonia.

It seems that adults also favor the weekends when they have normal steady jobs. Although, the adults I know don't spend their weekends in excited flurries of activity. They might have exciting weekends like that about 4 times a year. But they generally spend their weekends resting and maybe wishing they would die in their sleep or something would happen so that they did not have to work on Monday. Perhaps a hidden wealthy relative would die in THEIR sleep and leave the adult in question a fortune so that they'd never have to work again. I don't know. I don't know how adults think.

I graduated highschool in 1998.

I didn't continue with schooling. I did not choose to join the work force. I feel like I have been on an eight year long summer vacation. I really do. And it just horrified me to realize that it has been about 8 years, but I stand by my decision. I am pretty sure that I am, on the whole, happier and more satisfied with life than my friends who are in ruts and in debts and feel like they have been forced into a horrible lifestyle that they would never have chosen, but they felt that they didn't have a choice. And maybe they didn't, who knows. I did though, and I am fine with the decision most of the time. Who wants to STRUGGLE to survive in this shit-assed society anyway? But that is a topic for another day.

The most bizarre thing that has happened to my sense of time in the past 8 years is that all of the days of the week are extraordinarily interchangeable. They are interchangeable to the point of being ridiculous that they are even named. It also doesn't help that I sleep when tired and remain awake when I am not tired, resulting in a very random sleep pattern. Random enough that the hours of the day are starting to simply sound like "suggestions" rather than "hey, no. this really is the time." Because my mind just laughs and says "what is time, anyway?" And the clock goes :(

I think within a couple of years, I will only have 4 days in a year. Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter. And since Winter spans over the divide of years, the years are going to start becoming meaningless too. I haven't yet determined that this is good or bad, so I think I'm leaning toward the idea that it is neither good nor bad.

It all is going along pretty well, though. Until I have a moment of remembering what Saturdays are for. Or at least, what they used to be for. And then I feel confused as I am feeling right now.

It's not that Time is absent in my life, of course, since it marches on ceaselessly. It's just that I'm about to stop acknowledging it. But I think it might be turning everything into grey soup. So maybe human minds need to rely on Time in order to have.. order. I like it when I use the same word so close together but in a different sense. It's like seeing a rainbow.

I get distracted a lot.

My brain is feeling really spherical today. Don't mind me.