Hello, Party People. Greetings from Wisconsin.

So I have been here for about a week now. It is very nice here in the Dairy State. I have been spending the time with my good friends, Jeff and Jillian, in their fine home which is very comfortable. We have eaten many delicious foods, from Thai to the old standard of the Fish Fry (although I opted for some chicken sandwich thing because I am not so hardcore that I can eat a bunch of fried fish and drink a great big beer - beer brewed right there in the next room over). They have also made a fine risotto and Chinese fish dish. And tonight, we shall have sushi at a nice Japanese joint downtown.

All of that is very nice and quite dull for you to read. But I am a girl who mostly eats sanwiches and cereal, as I am lazy and do not like cleaning dishes. And I seem to rarely go out to eat for some reason, possible because money. So this Eating thing I have been doing has been a highlight.

Another thing Wisconsin seems to have going for it is that the general atmosphere around here is subtley optimistic. As if people are glad that they live here, and are... happy! Even under the 2 feet of snow that is everywhere. You'd expect that they'd sit inside and be angry, like we do in Ohio. But no! They seem to instantly begin skiing and sledding and snow-mobiling and ice-fishing. They have little rosy cheeks and smiles on their faces. And it's kind of just cute.

It seems that in Ohio - at least around Cincinnati, the general mood of the area is depressed. Like every person there is dissatisfied with their lot in life and that they are downtrodden every step of the way. It's so bleak.

I rode a horse today.

It was really scary.

I mean, I'm a girl who likes horses a lot. I draw them and read about them and think they are pretty to look at. But I never really wanted to sit on top of one and try to control it. Jeff and Jillian decided that I needed a riding lesson though. So that's what I did all morning.

Here is some excerpt from when I told Jeremy about it. I would repeat it in new words and whole sentences for you kids, but my arms and brains are too tired to work up the right kind of enthusiasm.

Oh - many of you might just want to skip this part. I don't give a goddamned fuck!

Amanda: you fail to remember that i rode a horse today

OMGJeremy: ooh how'd that go
: i've mostly been clouded by anger all morning

Amanda: tiring as allll fuck
: you have to hold on with your legs!

OMGJeremy: :-x

Amanda: i apparently have no muscles at all
: i am clearly just a gelatinous mass of waste

OMGJeremy: was it scary

Amanda: yes
: yes it was
: i only walked though
: well, i trotted too
: until i was like " i think i am going to fall off and am terrified"
: then they allowed me to keep walking

OMGJeremy: i take you didn't ride a baby horse

Amanda: no
: its back came up to about my chin, i'd say
: which isnt all that big, i guess. but it seemed like it
: a tiny child rode the same horse before i did
: they had me brush it first
: and CLEAN ITS FEET!
: i had never ever ever done such a thing before
: i may have looked at the instructor lady like i didnt believe it
: i was like "me? i DO?"
: it was hard on the back feet
: their legs dont bend logically

OMGJeremy: i would have liked to have seen you clean it's feet

Amanda: actually, the brushing and then holding up of its legs tuckered me out
: my arms were shaking from exhaustion
: and THEN they were like "here's how a saddle goes on"
: and then, they undid it all
: and made me do it
: it involves a knot
: and then i led it to another barn, to an indoor arena and got on it
: i didnt fall
: go, me!

OMGJeremy: :D

Amanda: then there was this insane way to hold reins with your fingers just so, and you have to grip with your legs and push your heels down and the balls of your feet in the stirrups and toes going in and seatbowns firmly planted and back straight and feet in line with hips and look where you are going and when you want to turn you pull the right rein back and let the left go forward and press with your left leg and it will turn right
: and my brain bled
: *seatbones
: as you can see i cant even spell because my brains have been jarred, probably from the Trot

OMGJeremy: i was expecting you to gallop mightily

Amanda: and i went around the arena in circles then she had me turn around the other way and then i serpentined through cones
: i was proud of that - I never even turned one over. Or brushed one and had it teeter maddeningly!
: i think i can drive a car now
: and ski
: if i can guide a horse through cones - a horse that has done that same serpentining a zillion and one times - surely i can guide my own damn self via a thing that doesnt think at all
: then she was like "make the trot"
: and i did
: but i was clearly going to fly out of the saddle
: so i slowed down again
: and she was like "hold on with your legs like as if it were a bearhug with your legs"
: and i did try again
: but my legs...
: they are made of loose cotton
: they have absolutely no grip
: apparently sitting for hours in front of the computer does not build muscle in the legs

OMGJeremy: lord

Amanda: so i tried again, and got scared again
: i bounced like 3 feet off the saddle with each step
: so, again i stopped and said "you know.. i'm a bit terrified of the Trot"
: and they said that when i "get used to it" i will sit deeply in the saddle, and not flop around wildly
: and i laughed
: it must be some sort of riding kung fu
: where i root
: with my butt.

OMGJeremy: lol

Amanda: but, this was technically the first time i'd ever ridden a horse
: like, correctly
: and the first time in 39 years that I've ridden a horse at all
: so i felt uncomfortable with the trot.
: so then i circled more, and she had me remove my feet from the stirrups
: which i did
: i suppose it was teaching me to hold on with my legs
: it wasnt so bad
: then i circled the other way, serpentined again
: and had him walk on top of a box
: i felt like a trick rider
: i shall be doing equine stunts in hollywood soon enough
: i did that twice, and they were glad/amazed that he did not balk
: and then she had me make him stop and go on my command a few times
: which, at the start, she asked what i wanted to learn
: and i said "i would like to learn to make him go. and then to make him stop"
: mission accomplished!
: and the best part was getting off the horse
: because - i did not know this
: but you get off of a horse while it is still moving
: she said this and i laughed
: she also laughed
: and i said "you actually mean it, don't you?"
: and she said "yes"
: so i looked ahead for a minute
: and said "well, i might as well just do it"
: and i did!

: you were not trampled i see

Amanda: then i took him back to the other barn where i got to remove his tack, brush him again, clean out his feet again, put on his horse blanket, and fed him carrots and thanked him for not killing or trampling me

OMGJeremy: :D

Amanda: it was a happy ending
: except that my legs are still shakey, and my knees actually hurt a bit
: and my arms are also shaked
: shakey
: because horse legs are fucking heavy
: they hold them up for you
: for like the first 2 seconds
: and then they rest in your arms
: and its just one arm
: because the other is picking out gunk
: and then brushing out gunk

Wow that was horrid to read for those of you who don't like horseys. But it was a huge event for me. And now I am going to collapse in a heap of pain and aspirin.